THE OFFICE TITLE IS FAKE. THE ARITHMETIC IS NOT.

No AI diagnosis. No hidden personality score. Just self-reported averages and deterministic arithmetic wearing an office badge.

01 / TEN-YEAR TOTAL

ONE DAILY AVERAGE, STRETCHED ACROSS 3,650 DAYS.

daily minutes × 3,650 ÷ 1,440 = days

Example: 120 minutes × 3,650 ÷ 1,440 = 304.2 days. We use 365 days per year for ten years. The app calls this “at this pace” because it is an estimate, not a prophecy.

02 / PHONE & SOCIAL

THE TWO TOTALS ARE NEVER ADDED TOGETHER.

Social-media time already sits inside total phone time. If you select Short Videos and report social time above zero, the headline uses the social figure. Every other behavior uses total phone time. Both lines remain visible in “Show the Math” for transparency.

03 / THE PLOT TWIST

A SMALL DAILY REROUTE, NOT A MIRACLE CLAIM.

30 or more headline minutes per day → 30 minutes reclaimed
15–29 headline minutes per day → 15 minutes reclaimed
Below 15 minutes per day → no reclaim claim

30 minutes × 3,650 ÷ 1,440 = 76.0 days

That is time potentially opened up. It is not a promise that your goal completes itself while dramatic office supplies cheer.

04 / DRAMATIC COMPARISONS

SAME MINUTES. DIFFERENT UNIT. BETTER BIT.

8-hour shiftstotal minutes ÷ 480

2-hour moviestotal minutes ÷ 120

Full weekendstotal minutes ÷ 2,880

Workdays / monthdaily minutes × 365 ÷ 12 ÷ 480

These are transparent scale jokes—not claims about what you actually did during those minutes.

05 / YOUR SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC JOB

THE SAME ANSWERS PRODUCE THE SAME FILE.

Daily time, main behavior, usual context, and broad goal category deterministically select a burn band, title, context tag, alibi, fingerprint, and fact pair. Your custom goal text changes only the displayed goal line; it does not seed the hidden profile.

It is not a personality test, diagnosis, ranking, or life score. AI is not required to calculate or phrase the current result.

06 / COPY INTENSITY

SAME FILE. DIFFERENT EDITORIAL DAMAGE.

Soft Copy, Public Copy, and Uncalled-For Copy change humorous wording, alibis, goal commentary, fact notes, and the suggested share caption. They never change the inputs, formulas, time totals, reclaim estimate, burn band, or privacy behavior.

Tone variants are selected from deterministic copy libraries. The same answers and tone produce the same wording; an AI model does not rewrite or invent numbers in the current release.

07 / VISUAL TREATMENTS

THE PAPER CHANGES. THE CASE DOES NOT.

Office Supply, After Hours, Red Tape, and Xerox Leak remap the flat document palette after the result is drawn. The selected treatment does not change wording, hierarchy, dimensions, inputs, formulas, or calculations.

08 / ROUNDING & SMALL PRINT

FULL PRECISION UNDERNEATH. CLEANER NUMBERS ON THE POSTER.

Day totals under 100 display one decimal; totals of 100 or more display as whole days. Comparison units use up to one decimal below 1,000 and whole numbers above it. The formulas in the result use the underlying values before display rounding.

Habits change. Self-reports can be wrong. People multitask. Leap days exist. This is an “at this pace” projection for entertainment—not a prediction of your future.